Trust Your Equipment

Terror gripped me as I swayed back and forth in a bucket lift high above the ground.  While in a building, the space was expansive, and I felt like I was floating in space. I felt out of control.  And that, apparently, is one of my fears.

I went up and down in the lift several times.  It functioned fine, but I still felt super uneasy because of the motion I felt with the lift’s full extension. The lift exaggerated every little movement I made.  Being a naturally wiggly person unnecessarily increased the bucket’s motion and screechy sounds.

I asked someone to go to the height I needed to be at and move around in the bucket so I could observe how the equipment functioned from the ground. He did. I saw that the base stood secure and unmoving.  The panels lifting the bucket contributed to the movement and sound that caused my concern.

I hopped back into the bucket and went higher and higher and higher.  Armed with my observations, I stood firm in the bucket.  I had to kind of push myself out of the bucket to reach a corner.  The motion jerked the bucket.  My stomach fell. Fear flooded my senses.

I retreated into the bucket.

I evaluated the situation.

Was I going to give up?  I faced the lowest line on the column I needed to gild.  I needed to extend the lift to its highest level to reach the next section I needed to do. That meant the lift would feel even more unstable. Could I do it?

I had to clean and sometimes sand down the existing gold stripe, then apply adhesive with a paintbrush (without any drips or globs,) wait until the adhesive was ready, and then add gold leaf to the line, and then do a burnishing and final clean up on the line. Using a paintbrush enabled me to extend my reach, but I knew I’d have to stretch out of the bucket further for my fingers to reach the column’s corners.

I thought of my fearless brother Donovan.  Imagining him sitting on the ledge and thinking it was all fun and games, I could hear him scoffing at this fear, which made me laugh.  I even texted him and he agreed that it would be fun.

But the next major jerking of the bucket made me forget my feigned bravery.

I prayed for help to do what needed to be done.

An image of the lift’s base securely fixed and solid flashed to mind.

“Trust your equipment.”

I stretched out across the column from a trembling bucket.

“Trust your equipment.”

I cleaned the line.  I stretched to reach the paintbrush into the corner.  Somehow my hand remained steady and the sizing (adhesive) line looked straight.  I’d steadied myself by bracing my left hand on the wall.  But I knew I’d need both hands to lay the gold.

I moved up to the next level to repeat the process. That clackety lift felt exponentially more terrifying.

“Trust your equipment.”

Cleaned. Sized.

I lowered myself back to the first line.  I didn’t think I could reach the corner with my fingers clutching a roll of gold leaf. One of the tall guys walked into the room. I shouted down that he might need to lay the gold in the corner.  He hadn’t done it before and was reticent and said he had to finish something first.

The sizing (adhesive) was the perfect tackiness and ready to go. If it dried completely, I’d have to start the process over. I evaluated the distance to reach the corner, got the 1-inch gold roll situated in my hand, propelled myself up, out, and S T R E T C H E D.

I landed the corner with my fingers and laid the gold. The slingback motion from the lunge sent me back into the bucket.  It worked! Since I’d done it once, I knew I could do the remaining lines on the remaining columns.  I wasn’t instantly fearless, but my confidence grew as I tackled each corner section.

Trust Your Equipment

Little flashes of insight came as I gained trust in that situation’s physical equipment, including realizing how much I rely on spiritual equipment.

During times of doubt and confusion, my faith in God stabilizes me.  When struggling with long-term purpose, covenants illuminate my path.  While resisting opportunities to grow outside my comfort zone, scriptural examples give me courage as I gain my own confidence to believe that Divine promises are real and for me.

Therefore, lift up your heads, and rejoice, and put your trust in God, in that God who was the God of Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob; and also, that God who brought the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt, and caused that they should walk through the Red Sea on dry ground, and fed them with manna that they might not perish in the wilderness; and many more things did he do for them. ~Mosiah 7:9

Trust in God who is the Fulfiller of covenant blessings, Deliverer from bondage, Manifestor of mighty miracles, and loving Father who gives what is needed.

I was reminded of all of those things as I physically and mentally struggled to overcome my fears and comfort zone to do something that really mattered to me. I want to be able and available to step up in every way, offering my God-given abilities to build His Kingdom in any way. As I continue to deepen trust through various challenges, my confidence and knowledge that I truly can trust Him grow.