Can a Mere Human Ever Fully Forgive?

Help Lord! Teach Me How to Forgive!

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37 (NIV)

My Trauma

Sadly, years ago, I experienced a raw and real sojourn through explosive shock, blinding anger, debilitating hurt and finally, the peace of true forgiveness, that only God can provide. Forgiveness –an impossible, tall order, or an invitation to serenity? I have come to believe it is both.

This is the story of how an event orchestrated from Hell connected with our family. A person, who will remain nameless, decided to falsely accuse my husband and me. This miserable soul used email as a weapon, and even hacked into my Facebook account to post on my wall yet more untruths!

I found this human’s transgression of lies and uncaring words too astoundingly hurtful to warrant any forgiveness, EVER. “But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” James 3:8 (NIV)

I was Apoplectic

Abject anger set in, so consuming I could not sleep. I woke up numerous nights at 2:00 A.M. ruminating about the cruel words spoken. I remained furious and hurt for, literally, years. Nothing this harsh had ever happened to me in my entire life. My husband and I wanted to shout from the rooftops, “It’s not true! Do not listen to this B.S.! We are innocent!”

The Road to Recovery

Something had to change. Obviously I could not handle this being’s reprehensible behavior, on my own. I began to make an early morning time when I could have peace in God’s presence. I’m disappointed in myself to say that this disciplined prayer time never happened consistently in my life, until I had walked through this fire!

Who knew that a tragic lie could bring me CLOSER to God? What a silver lining! Praise Him for being there for us always, no matter what. Praise Him for making things better, some way, somehow. “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.” Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)

Forgiveness –An Education and a Skill

I bought and read books about forgiveness.  Two of my favorites are on precept.org, and The Epic Family Wedge by Julianne McFitz on Amazon.

I came across a life-changing verse in Isaiah. “No weapon forged against you will prevail. And you will refute every tongue that accuses you.” Isaiah 54:17 (NIV) God brought that verse right into my heart when I needed it most!

I also went to Confession and asked the Priest for help with this scourge on my life. He said, “How much longer do you think you’re going to live? 30, 40 Years? Do you want to carry around this awfulness like a backpack of boulders for the rest of your life?” Indeed.

Forgiveness Tools From Other Faiths

I read an article about a man who forced himself to pray for his enemies every day. He said it became easier and easier to naturally forgive them as this process went on. I could not fathom this. Could I ever get to that point? NO WAY. But what could I lose? So I tried it.

I also researched other world religions and their take on forgiveness, as I embarked on this quest. I worked for a Jewish woman who led me to a profound verse in the Torah. “Do not hate your brother in your heart.” Leviticus 19:17  I taught two students from a Muslim family, who became good friends and always invited us to their post-Ramadan Eid Celebration. Their mother led me to a forgiveness verse in the Quran. “We have not created the Heavens and the Earth and everything in between except for a purpose. And the Hour is certain to come. So forgive graciously.” (Quran 15:85)

All who consistently practice any faith around the world, realize that forgiveness is paramount to following God. God forgives us every day. We have to somehow find it in ourselves to forgive others… So much easier said than done!

I began making myself pray for this accuser as I did planks at the gym. I hate planks. I’m terrible at them. Planks are so excruciating that I offered up that agony to the Lord, while adding prayers for the hater.

A gradual transformation most definitely took place. Very subtle but very apparent. My anger faded. I took myself out of the equation and focused on this mean person as a child of God. Loved by Him. Cherished by Him.

If we are open to it, God will show us compelling things.

This miserable person ended up falsely accusing three other people. No one listened to the rants anymore.

Our Higher Power will make a way where there is no way. Divine Order will always trump human circumstances. I fully forgive, but only because I had the power of God behind me. He will do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the Heavens are higher than the Earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'” Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)