I don’t believe I have ever so greatly regretted scheduling a Sunday away from the pulpit as I did this week. On the day after the assassination attempt on a former president, I was committed to training a church board for another community – and I kept my commitment. The extra time before responding to what happened has been a gift.
Perhaps there was value in the delay because it allowed me to see the memes that wished the bullet had hit its mark, show Melania brandishing a rifle, or simply suggest the outcome of the shooting could have saved the world. Perhaps the extra time gave me space for deeper contemplation of something said by an Australian teacher I admire, in reaction to recent Supreme Court rulings, “Why aren’t Americans in the streets?” Or perhaps I just needed time to consider my sweet grandchildren and the kind of world I want them to inherit. Whatever the reason, the time that’s passed since Saturday’s shooting has given me insights I might not have had If I had spoken from the pulpit the Sunday after it happened.
Here’s the question I’ve been asking myself: Who do I want to be right now? And here’s another…What kind of world am I committed to creating? We all have knee-jerk reactions, but once we’re past those, we have the opportunity to excavate the innermost aspects of self to discover what lies within.
Regardless of your political position, (because a bullet could just as easily have been aimed at the other side), we must ask ourselves, “Is violence the answer I seek? Does violence calm my fears or, in the long run, does violence only lead to more violence and deeper fear? It’s easy to say, “Violence is never the answer.” It feels like the right thing to say—especially as a minister – but do I believe that? What would be worth fighting for and what would not?
There are so many questions, and if you were thinking I might give you answers, I’m sorry to disappoint you. Each of us must answer these questions alone, in the deep recesses of our hearts.
In a rather desperate prayer, in what seems like another lifetime, I once begged for the Divine to tell me how to change someone whose life choices were beyond what I could understand or accept. I had done everything I could think of and found myself on the floor in heart-wrenching tears, engulfed by the fear that I had failed somehow. At that moment, I received one of those “drop-in” messages – the ones that come with full-body knowing:
“Some people incarnate in this life to play a difficult role, a role that invites others to decide who they will be in relation to this person. Will they vilify? Will they forgive? Will they abandon? Will they fight? Will they love? Will they teach? Who will they be in relation to someone who seems impossible to change and who seemingly poses a threat? You must know this Soul came into this life willing to play a painful role. Within them is the same sacred eternal spirit that lives within you. The difference is they were willing to be the center of attention for harsh judgement, even hate, so that everyone around them could decide who they would be.”
This isn’t about politicians, or about abusers, or thieves, or the ones who rage or the ones who betray. It’s not about takers, deceivers, or those who cause unspeakable pain that affects everyone. It’s about us – you and me. Who will we be in the face of words and behavior that make us fearful, angry, and even hopeless?
In that prayer, I was told “When you learn to love despite what you’re experiencing, there will be less need for the catalyst. Things will get better.” And they did, but not in the way you might think. The person in question did not change their behavior until years later. But I changed mine immediately. I found strength I didn’t know I had, the strength that comes from the place inside where the Holy resides. I learned that loving myself is sometimes just as important as finding a way to love others, and that boundaries matter. I found inner assurance that the world I wanted to bring forth for my family would come, somehow… and that faith would be my most powerful tool.
Faith. I’d spent my entire life talking about faith, but in that moment, I had to do more than talk – I had to examine my beliefs and choose whether I would live into them or not. Today, I ask you, do you have faith?
Faith that the Creative Source of the universe will respond to your prayers.
Faith that every good thing you do in the world will count for something.
Faith enough to keep seeing a future worth standing up for and working toward.
And how will you enact your faith? Will you wield the sword of violence or be the presence of peace? Perhaps something in between…
In truth, the assassination attempt on former President Trump is an undeniable catalyst for the world – an invitation to decide what we will create together—a world that responds with compassion or condemnation. For others. For ourselves.
I beseech you to give time to these questions and stay with them as long as it takes to find answers that you can hold in your heart and mind as your personal truths. No one else can answer these questions for you, and you should know, your answers will shape everything about what happens next — for you, and the world. What we think, feel, and believe is what we become.
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