I am Not Particularly Good at Lent

Lent is a time of preparation for Easter and includes fasting, praying, and giving alms. I hope to improve next year. I realize that Jesus did not just die for those who wholeheartedly embrace Lent, but also for those who fail Lent.

The Lenten Season and Easter

Catholics spend the Lenten season in a variety of ways. Some focus on fasting and then give their subsequent savings to people who need it. Others rededicate themselves to prayer, spending more time with God than usual. Still others give something up for Lent: Facebook, alcohol, sweets, and other treats. This last idea can be counterproductive when a person focuses on self-denial. Any activity chosen during Lent is meant to increase our intimacy with God; any self-focused activity misses the point.

I have spent Lenten seasons well. I spent more time praying. I went to Mass more frequently. The most successful Lenten projects for me, however, have been connected to books. I have read a book about a saint or another deeply good person. I tend to keep to my Lenten promise more faithfully when reading. I read all the time no matter what time of year, so switching my focus to the story of a holy person inspires me. I realize that I would like to live more like he or she does.

My Lenten Problem

One of the reasons I think I am not successful during Lent is its timing. We have just come through a Pacific Northwest winter, full of darkness, rain, and wind. Just as the weather offers us a few nice days and the first flowers come out, it is time for self-denial. Winter weather here is perfect for Advent with its symbolism of Jesus as a light in the darkness. I think that nature’s new life does not synchronize well with the liturgical season.

We all struggle with “one more thing to do.” Some years, Lent feels like an additional obligation or series of requirements. When I worked in Catholic schools, it was easier to observe Lent when it was integrated into the schedule.

I am Disappointed in Myself When Easter Comes

I am frustrated with myself when I realize that I have not taken advantage of the Lenten season to prepare for Easter. Some years my regret is more intense than others. I feel like I do not deserve to celebrate Easter the same way. I usually recognize that the most perfect Lenten observer does not deserve Easter either. Jesus’ dying and rising is a gift, not something we earn.

God chose to die and rise for all of us: this is the meaning of Easter. Jesus did not sacrifice himself only for holy people. He died for Judas who betrayed him and Peter who denied him. He endured this passion for the other apostles who fearfully locked themselves in a room. He died and rose for me, even though I missed the opportunity to prepare well for his rising.

Lent is an invitation to prepare, to consider ways that we could grow in our relationship with God, lose our self-focus, and give to others. While there are certain dietary restrictions for Lent, the rest is up to us. While Jesus dies for all of us, we choose how to respond to any invitation he offers.

Next year I hope not to fail Lent. If I use more self-discipline, I am sure that I can take advantage of the opportunities to spend more time with God.