Washington, DC – For decades, a majority of Americans have been asking, begging, pleading Congress to pass common sense gun control laws, only to have their cries fall on deaf ears. All of that may be about to change.
In a twist of fate no one saw coming, liberal Democrats in Washington have partnered with the unlikeliest of lawmakers, MAGA conservatives, to co-write a bipartisan bill called the “Make Donald J. Trump Safe Again” act, which aggressively limits access to AR-15 style weapons similar to the one used to shoot the former president.
Though not all Republicans have been on board with the bill, citing the Second Amendment as their justification, the majority of the House voted to approve the bipartisan effort, sending it to the Democrat-led Senate, where it expects to pass easily.
“This is a great day for America. We get to make Donald J. Trump safe again by taking away the weapons used to nearly end America. One inch to the right and he’s a goner. We just can’t take that risk. Not now,” said often controversial figure Marjorie Taylor Greene.
Not all conservatives agree with the congresswoman, however. “This is just another attempt by the fanatic left to take away our rights as American citizens. If we want to crawl on a roof and play a heated game of sniper, who are they to say we can’t? Last I checked, this is America, not some commie hellhole country like California.”
Stay tuned for more on this developing story. The Senate is set to vote on the bill by the end of this week, as soon as they can figure out what to do about the pressing issue of our day: TikTok.
(This is obviously not satire. Definitely don’t google “Make Donald J. Trump Safe Again Bill,” and definitely don’t get your hopes up that Congress would ever dare write common sense gun laws. They are too busy worrying about what apps the kids are using these days.)
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