Letting Go Of Your Graduates: Scripture For Moms Of Seniors

Our Shared Hearts as Moms of Seniors

Mommas, when I say I share your heart in sending away your Senior, I mean it. Your crying, fretting, happy, sad, weary heart.

Launching your senior into adulthood, whether that means college at home or away, trade school, gap year, or their job: ALL OF IT- is hard. I hope to share God’s Word to aid in the process of sending your senior away in celebration and not in sadness.

crowd of graduates in black and white — Encouragement for moms of seniors. Image by Elly from Pixabay

How Charming

Before I was a Christian, I had a friend who was fabulously fabulous; she still is! She introduced me to fantastical things: Pistachio ice cream and Ramen noodles in a cup to name a few.

And she also inaugurated a holy sacrament deep in the heart of this Texan girl: the owning and gifting of James Avery jewelry.

One year, she gave me a silver charm that said: “Let go, let God.” I had zero clue what that even meant.

This pretty little charm would confuse me for years, but after I finally became a Christian, I got it.

My Current Thought Process

That little person turned adult is literally my heart walking around, and you want me to just give them away to the cruel, I mean, beautiful world? Haven’t I just been trying to shield her from that for the past 18 years?

We have been fighting so hard for our children, haven’t we?

But now God says to lay down your shield, momma.

But doesn’t that mean… she will be unprotected? As a mom, I cannot let that happen. But this is the next stage. The next stage of trust.

We do not just send them away shieldless. We give them their own shield. And God tells us how to do that in His Word.

“For the Lord gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.

He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
He is a shield to those who walk in integrity,

Guarding the paths of justice,
And He preserves the way of His godly ones.” NASB, Prov. 2:6-8

Before we hop in our Highlanders to run to armory and forge a new (monogrammed) shield, let us look at some valid battle worries we might have, and apply the balm of Scripture to our wounds as moms.

1. What if I Messed Up?

Straight-shooting here, you probably did. I did and do too. So did your kid! We are human after all! They saw our mess-ups, AND they saw that God used them for good. We can apologize for the mess-ups, and rest in His grace. Did you know that His sufficient grace is also applicable to moms? Rest. Maybe all the mess-ups were not such a bad thing?

“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” 2 Cor.12:9

2. Because Bad Things Happened On My Watch, Does that Mean that I am a Bad Parent?

Here’s a thought: It was never “your watch,” it was always the Lord’s.

This is where we have to trust in the Lord because He was the One who chose you to be your child’s parent. He has foresight of all the events that would transpire, all your failures and shortcomings, yucky stuff that happened, and knowing all that He still approved the decision.

God knew and still chose you and your child. Do you trust God? Then trust Him in this.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight. Prov. 3:5-6

3. How Can I Celebrate When I am so Sad?

I don’t know about you, but I mean to celebrate my senior! Sure there is grief in this loss; we should allow that. But we do not need to dwell in the sad, we need to dwell in the glad. How? By being thankful!

Ask the Holy Spirit to give you a heart full of gratitude to surpass the sadness. Lord, help us to remember the GOOD to replace the sad and be thankful for it. If you think about it, it is because of all the good of our children that is making us grieve.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thess. 5:16-18

4. I’m scared they won’t be safe!

Remember Marlin? Nemo’s dad in Finding Nemo? They had been through trauma, much like my own family, let me tell you what. The world is not safe, but Jesus didn’t say “stay and make disciples,” He didn’t say, “Keep an eye out and when it is safe, then go,” He said, “go. (Matt. 28:19)” I want my children to obey Him. Of course, if the plan is to stay home they can still “go” and be in obedience.

But if God has called them to a place, we better let them go.

While I cannot physically be with her, you best believe my prayers sure can.

Our prayers protect. I say that as if it is me who is still protecting her: IT IS THE LORD.

You want a good verse about protection? How about hundreds: Psalms. There. The whole book. Read it!

If you remember Marlin, then you have to remember Dory, although she doesn’t remember you. Dory was listening to Marlin go berserk over Nemo not being safe. She finally says, “Not much fun for little Harpo.” I say this line all the time, because it helps me remember that my daughter is supposed to go and have her life- that is the point!

5. I don’t know how to give up control.

A Godly Example of Letting Go

Hannah is one of my BC’s: Biblical Crushes. I mean that platonically. She begged through prayer to God for her son, Samuel, God listened and gave her a son, and then what? She gave him back to the Lord in service when he was just a boy. Wow. Read her story here.

She went from weeping to worship, and trusted God with her only Son at the time. The one she fought so hard for. I can do this too. You can too.

It’s hard to trust God. There I said it!

I know He provides the groceries, but I make the lunches.

He gives the opportunity, but I drove her to the things.

I have been a doer for so long.

I do not mean this as a measure of my own pride, I mean this as a cry for help. I do not know how to lay down the controls- help me, Father!

Oh, wait. God always had the controls. He always will. And He is the only One who should. He let my husband and I have the honor of steering the ship, but He provided the wind, the waves, the ship! It is time. Step away from the motherboard. If stepping away helps her grow, then I must.

Mommas, this will be good- we can see our children be the doers! We get to watch God’s plans unfold from the sidelines, and this time not bring 100 sliced oranges! Lord, help me be a good sideliner.

6. They will be indoctrinated.

This might not scare some moms out there, but it does plague a lot of us. Especially with the turmoil on college campuses right now. Are they revolutionaries or are they students? It can be hard to tell right now! Look, we just want them to get a degree and do God’s will. They do not need to be activated.

As a homeschooler, this is one of the reasons we opted out of the public school system. We wanted our kids to learn their subjects without being skewed into a political agenda. This is not a slight against public education and the teachers that I so dearly admire, it is just a viewpoint shared.

That being said, we have got to look to Daniel and the boys. You know who I am talking about!

Can’t pray? Watch me.

Bow down to a huge statue or get thrown into a furnace? Guess we gonna barbecue!

Eat choice food? We brought our lunches, thanks.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego replied to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to give you an answer concerning this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; [p]and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” (Dan. 3:16-18)

These men, Daniel, Ananiah, Mishael, and Azariah (or their Babylonian names: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego), were raised in God’s Word. And it showed. They held strong to their beliefs, even to the point of death. We have to trust. If they made it through unscathed, so will our kids.

I’d like to look into the furnace situation through our lens. I know, I know, we are not supposed to spiritualize Scripture. I pray that this does not come off as such!

It was turned up hotter than ever.
- Seems like our universities are crazier than ever, right?
They were not in there alone: Our children will not be alone!!!

“Was it not three men we cast bound into the midst of the fire?” They replied to the king, “Certainly, O king.” He said, “Look! I see four men loosed and walking about in the midst of the fire [v]without harm, and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods!”
They did not even smell like smoke.
- God is in the details. Even down to the smell!! We serve a MIGHTY God who cares about our children down to the details. The microcosms of their lives matter to the One who created them!!! Here I am trying to Febreze odors when God is actually repelling them completely. God is in charge, Mom. Let Him reign- because He is with or without your okay.

Dear mommas, if we do not send them, then we cannot see all the good that God is going to do. Again, sending encompasses all the paths that they can take. We have to send to see. I want to see God’s glory displayed in my child. I want to keep reading her story and know how the next chapter goes.

Will you trust with me? Can we trust our good, gracious God together in this? No, really, we need to help each other. Here’s my hand. I trust that my daughter is fully equipped to handle her life because I know who is in charge.

You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.- 2 Tim. 3:14-17

Here is a little poem I presented at our homeschool co-op to honor my daughter.