Why My Daughter Thinks Taylor Swift Won’t Destroy Her Faith

A few weeks ago, my household was turned on its ear and shaken to its very core. Our 15-year-old daughter started listening to Taylor Swift. The transformation was almost overnight. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought TayTay and my daughter were brand-new besties. The real question was, would Taylor Swift destroy her faith?

Which got me wondering. Would this be a problem for her faith?

It took some time to figure it out. What we thought was dying cats stuck in our attack turned out to be a tone-deaf teenager–headphones in and totally unaware of her ability to project clear across the street from the neighbors.

Now, as parents, we have all suffered through our kids enjoying music we would rather not listen to. Growing up, I was a huge Metallica and Pearl Jam fan. My mom, not so much. I spent many summer afternoons with a sore neck from head-banging in my room.

But it wasn’t the creepy noises emanating from her room that caused me concern. It was her choice of music and where that choice may lead her in the future.

Troll the Christian side of the internet for a hot second with the keywords Taylor Swift, and it won’t take long to find some far-fetched conspiracy theories of demon-worshipping nonsense. Cue a flashback to Madonna in the 80s. Remember those days of trying to play records backward and searching for hidden messages? And we think our kids are crazy.

I digress.

Fostering a conversation rather than an all-out ban in fear that Taylor might destroy their faith.

But rather than being the parent who bans their kid from listening to a certain kind of music or specific artist (my parents did that, and I can tell you from experience that it didn’t work), I asked my daughter to provide me with a sound list of reasons she believes it’s OK and how she intends to listen with a clear mind, filter it with a biblical worldview, and strengthen her faith as a result.

To be clear, these are straight from her words.

• “She doesn’t actually say bad things about God.” I cannot verify if this is entirely accurate. But I’m thrilled she is thinking along these lines. It tells me she allows her biblical worldview rather than her own opinion to guide her.
• “She shames boys who abuse and torture women.” Taylor Swift is a strong independent woman who, from the looks of it, doesn’t take any crap from anyone. While I want my daughters to fully understand and submit to the role of a godly wife, I also want them to be strong and confident.
• “She doesn’t dress immodestly.” Swift certainly doesn’t dress like a Baptist woman from the 1980s, but I also haven’t seen her sexualize herself on stage. So, this one’s a draw.
• “She uses inappropriate words, but not in a bad way.” Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what this means. But here again, we have an opportunity for a conversation because I want to know what she means by this.

Building faith is not always ensuring they do the right thing all the time.

Then, convinced Taylor Swift wouldn’t destroy her faith, my daughter took her assignment a step further.

“How can I make it ok to listen?”

• Look up the lyrics of the song and what it means. Then, if it’s bad, don’t listen to that song.
• If you don’t know what they mean, ask an adult what they mean.

There is a magic word in here that every parent wants their kid to exercise: discernment. We know we can’t control everything; we just try to in hopes our kids will learn how to discern what’s acceptable and what isn’t.

Do I think these are all stellar arguments? Nope. But parents, here is the win: getting your kids to think. Rather than just blindly liking something their friends do or falling victim to the latest social trend, make them think it through. We all talk about giving our kids a biblical worldview, a lens, a filter—whatever you want to call it. But they need opportunities to practice it.

Taylor Swift won’t destroy your faith. Be a fan, but be mindful of what or who you worship.

Make no mistake: Swifties recognize talent when they see it and have become hypnotized through some incredibly catchy, well-written songs. But rather than just issuing a blanket statement banning all potentially dangerous music in your home. Use their odd obsession as an opportunity for a conversation. Because it’s in the conversation that you begin to build that biblical worldview, they need to grow their faith in a hostile world.

While I appreciate Swift’s talent, I am not a fan—not even a little. In fact, I’m not all that thrilled that my daughter is a fan. However, I am thrilled that she is thinking about the right issues, picking and choosing which songs she feels are OK, and welcoming the conversation—even pushback from me.

Taylor didn’t destroy her faith. To the contrary, she is flexing her faith muscles, which can only make her stronger.

In post update: While I was working on this post, she came downstairs and wanted to read it so we could talk about it more. Dad, for the win!