The most important conversation in your child’s spiritual journey concerns the one topic most of us avoid. For parents, it might require being uncool, being the bad guy, bringing the hammer, or even talking about uncomfortable topics like sex. For our kids, the conversation is too black and white, too conservative, a joy kill, and unloving.
Sin.
To older generations, the nature of sin and the biblical solution might seem an obvious and unnecessary topic. After all, the first step to following Jesus is to recognize ourselves as sinners. However, when we consider the world our kids face—one of rapidly deteriorating morality—its need is greater than ever. And for a good Christian family like yours, this means ensuring that Jesus is more than just a good idea that requires some moral updating.
As parents, we need to be able to move our kids from simply loving the idea of Jesus to deeply understanding their need for Him and the value of living the life He calls them to. Unfortunately, we have somehow allowed the younger generations to believe that forgiveness is the beginning and end of repentance and that what the Bible calls sin has to be weighed for its cultural relevancy.
But if our intention for them is to stay out of trouble, be a good person, and find their true identity, then what room is left for Jesus?
So what’s the plan? It’s simple. Talk about sin.
Your Child’s Spiritual Journey Requires Sin
Obviously, I don’t mean engaging in sin. But talk about sin. Because we don’t.
Over the last fifteen years, I have lived in Detroit, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Fort Wayne. And during that time, I attended different churches. During that time, I can count on one hand the number of times any of those churches talked about sin. Why? Because we have allowed ours
elves to believe that sin doesn’t put butts in seats and it doesn’t fill the church’s coffers with the necessary finances. It’s easier to talk about how much Jesus loves us and the life He wants for us. Focusing on the good in people rather than the bad is more attractive. But here’s the thing: we aren’t good. We are dirty, filthy sinners. A former colleague of mine used to
tell his students that they were both divine and disgusting. He insisted that they understood the nature of their flesh and the spiritual battle they were in every day.
Let’s imagine for a moment what our kids might be like if we never talked about the presence of sin. Now, I’m not talking about understanding right and wrong. God has already given us the inherent ability to recognize the differences between the two. I’m talking about the explicit understanding of the Fall, depravity, and life in the flesh. They wouldn’t have the ability to comprehend their moral inability to obey God, their inclination to self-justify, self-worship, and their natural bent toward choosing sin. This means it would be impossible to pursue a holy lifestyle and life of discipleship. It would be impossible to please God and follow Him into the life He desires because such a life would be invisible, unknowable, and unreachable.
Your Child’s Spiritual Journey Requires A Need For Jesus
Recognizing the lordship of Jesus and the desire to be holy means first recognizing one’s need for Jesus in the first place. If our kids can’t properly recognize the presence of sin in the world and their lives, then what need do they have for Jesus? How could they possibly call Him Lord? The sin they refuse to recognize poisons their hearts and hinders their worship and ability to impact the world with the gospel. How can they proclaim a gospel they don’t fully accept because they don’t fully accept their sin?
But Steve, sin is too negative, not loving enough, and our kids won’t respond!
I disagree. Parents, your job is to preach the gospel and live out its truth as an example. This includes sin. Why are we even talking about the gospel or discipleship without it? Living the life of a disciple is about a life in pursuit of holiness.
Holiness requires the conquering of sin.
If we have any hope for our kids to conquer sin, we must discuss it.
Your Child’s Spiritual Journey Requires Patience and Practice
It’s true, our kids are divine—as my colleague would put it. They are incredible kids, created in the image of God, special, purposed, and capable of more than we could imagine. But they are truly disgusting. They are full of sin. Destined in so many ways to choose evil over good, self over others, and their way over God’s. As parents, we will watch, time and again; our kids make decisions to willingly sin, justify it, excuse it, dismiss it, repent of it, and, to our dismay, do it all over again.
Don’t worry; it’s not all bad news.
Contrary to cultural preference, I find that kids deeply appreciate when the adults in their lives stand firm on truth expressed in love toward those we disagree with or issues of sin. Culture defines tolerance as equal acceptance and validity of every individual and that no belief or behavior should be criticized. But true tolerance—the kind expressed by Christ Himself—is building relationships with people we disagree with. It’s finding common ground without compromising convictions and allowing God’s Word to guide how we understand what is true.
But it’s something we must practice and master.
It will pay great dividends as you connect with your kids. Remember, Paul told the Philippians to model the pattern he gave them (Philippians 2:17). The writer of Hebrews gave us numerous examples to follow (Hebrews 11). Timothy was taught to serve as an example (1 Timothy 4:12–16). Kids need to see how a life of holiness is realized in everyday situations, how they see you respond daily to life experiences, and how you use the model given to us in Scripture. Living out the hope of Christ is a skill to be practiced and mastered—and, therefore, a skill to be taught.
Embrace Your Child’s Spiritual Journey
God’s commands for His people are not just a list of rules to follow but the means to be the people He truly designed you to be. The Old Testament Law was given so people would be aware of their sin and their need for Christ. But Jesus did not abolish the Law, suddenly giving you the freedom to act in any ridiculous way you choose. He fulfilled it. Through the Spirit, he is giving you the means of living out God’s purpose and ability to conquer sin and its effects. Read the Bible from the beginning, and it won’t take long to see how ugly sin makes things and the consequences of man’s ideas versus the blessings of God’s. Jesus’ call to live a holy life is couched in the story of redemption and His life, death, and resurrection.
Setting your kids off on a spiritual journey that ends at the foot of the cross requires a proper understanding of the sin that made a mess of everything. Don’t be afraid to speak the truth, but always do it in love.
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