On Thursday, March 30, former president Donald Trump was indicted by a grand jury in New York City and now faces criminal charges. He is expected to surrender for arraignment on Tuesday, April 4, in the Manhattan District Attorney’s office. This is the first time a former president has faced indictment in U.S. history.
It’s time to celebrate with an Indictment Medley!
Here’s an Indictment Medley to celebrate the first step in accountability for Trump! Three songs: “New York, New York: Indictment Version!” “Indict, Indict!” based on “Tonight” from West Side Story. And “He Got Indicted” based on the Pointer Sisters’ hit, “I’m So Excited.”
Of course, some have sounded a somber note about this historic event. “It gives me no joy . . .” has been an oft-repeated phrase when responding to the announcement. Others have reacted with jadedness and pessimism that this indictment won’t have any effect on Trump running for president in 2024.
And, granted, the announcement about Trump’s indictment came just two days before Palm Sunday and the start of Holy Week.
But I’m not letting anything rob me of my joy, relief, and celebration at this moment!
We’ve waited eight long years for something, any kind of accountability. It has finally happened! And there are likely more indictments coming from Georgia, D.C., and the DOJ. So with the first domino to fall, break out the band, the singers, and the dancers!
(Randy Rainbow – call me!)
We begin with the rousing number, “New York, New York: Indictment Version!”
The song “New York, New York” was written by John Kander and Fred Ebb for the eponymous 1977 film and originally sung by Liza Minelli. Frank Sinatra recorded it in 1978 and it became one of his signature hits.
Here’s my parody version to celebrate the first step in Trump finally being held accountable for his crimes.
New York, New York: Indictment Version!
A Parody by Leah D. Schade
(original version by John Kander and Fred Ebb)
Start spreadin’ the news!
He’s leavin’ today!
He’s going to be indicted in:
New York, New York!
That tiny-hand man will not get away
Right in the DA’s office of:
New York, New York!
He’s gonna wake up in that city — he’s such a creep —
To find he’s King of the Cell, top of the junk heap!
These Mar-a-Lago blues are melting away
They’re gonna start indictments in good ole New York!
If they can charge him there
They’ll charge him anywhere!
It’s up to you: New York
New York!!
After that saucy little number, we move into “Indict, Indict!”
This a parody based on the love song from West Side Story, “Tonight.” Written by Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim, this new version should be sung with soaring gusto! We might imagine Tony and Maria standing on the balcony overlooking 1 Hogan Place serenading the criminal as he is escorted into the DA’s office for arraignment.
(Randy Rainbow, are you listening?)
Indict, Indict!
A Musical Parody based on “Tonight” from West Side Story
by Leah D. Schade
(original by Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim)
Indict, indict!
Grand jury says indict!
Indict on thirty-four counts of fraud!
Indict, indict!
They’ve made their case airtight
And this time he is not above the law
For years there were no consequences
For all of his offenses
Yet still our hope lived on
Oh Truth, be bright!
And on his many crimes, shine your light!
INDICT!!
Our Indictment Medley concludes with the rousing hit, “He Got Indicted!”
Based on the 80s pop song by the Pointer Sisters, “I’m So Excited” is the go-to track for energetic celebration!
For everyone who has endured moral injury or physical and mental harm because of Trump’s actions over the last eight years since he first descended that escalator to announce his candidacy in 2015, this Indictment Medley is for you!
This Indictment Medley is for all the contractors he’s stiffed. The Central Park Five he vilified. The immigrant children ripped from their families and put in cages. The Muslim families he banned. The disabled persons he mocked. The LGBTQIA+ people he targeted. The Covid deaths that resulted from his minimizing the coronavirus. The officers killed in the Jan. 6th insurrection. The women he has assaulted. And the very planet he assaulted with his anti-environmental policies.
(Of course, this is just a partial list of the terrible, awful, no-good things Donald Trump has done. There are more. Many, many more.)
(Randy Rainbow, guurrrll, let’s collab!)
“He Got Indicted!” parody on “I’m So Excited.” By Leah D. Schade
He Got Indicted!
A Parody on “I’m So Excited” by the Pointer Sisters
By Leah D. Schade
Tonight’s the night we’re gonna see it happen
Tonight, we’ll put all other things aside
For once he actually won an election
The Grand Jury has voted to indict!
They will arrest you, arraign you
Then they’ll fingerprint you
And then they’ll take your mug shot
I just can’t get enough!
And this is just the very first domino!
He got indicted, and he just can’t hide it!
He’s about to lose control and I think I like it!
I’m so excited that he got indicted!
And I know, I know, I know, I know
I know he’s guilty. You’re guilty!
You really should be worried about tomorrow
With more indictments coming down the line
We’ll have a good time, baby, don’t you worry
You finally must answer for your crimes
Let’s get excited! Cuz he got indicted!
His bowels are gonna lose control and fill up that diaper
We’re all excited that he got indicted
And I know, I know, I know, I know
I know he’s guilty. You’re guilty!
Look what you did to us! You really messed us up!
You need to be in prison, oh yeah!
You need to be in cuffs! You better give it up!
You need to be in prison!
See also:
Covidtown: A Tragic Parody on Billy Joel’s Allentown
9 Reasons “Trumpy Bear”; is a Sham: The Cuddlefication of a Despot
The Rev. Dr. Leah D. Schade is the Associate Professor of Preaching and Worship at Lexington Theological Seminary in Kentucky and ordained in the ELCA. Dr. Schade does not speak for LTS or the ELCA; her opinions are her own. She is the author of Preaching in the Purple Zone: Ministry in the Red-Blue Divide (Rowman & Littlefield, 2019) and Creation-Crisis Preaching: Ecology, Theology, and the Pulpit (Chalice Press, 2015). She is the co-editor of Rooted and Rising: Voices of Courage in a Time of Climate Crisis (Rowman & Littlefield, 2019). Her newest book is Introduction to Preaching: Scripture, Theology, and Sermon Preparation, co-authored with Jerry L. Sumney and Emily Askew (Rowman & Littlefield, 2023).
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