Happy Spouse, Happy House: Tending The Romantic Flame

Happy Spouse, Happy House

I’m such a bad golfer. No, really. But as they say, “happy spouse, happy house,” and sometimes one must spend a couple hours tending the romantic fire. That might mean going to the golf course, even if you’re not good at it.

I have learned, in some cases, the hard way, that when two people in a relationship suddenly have nothing in common, the relationship burns out. This can happen when the children grow up and move out, or when retirement comes, or when some other major life change takes place. Sure, the couple can still choose to stay together; it’s just not a fun, fulfilling, fruitful (ha! get the alliteration!) situation, and face it, if you are a human being, you want fun, fulfillment, and, well, fruit.

Learn Something New

It’s not really all that hard to avoid the burn out. For example, you may hate football, but if your significant other happens to be an avid Buckeye fan, it’s not too hard to spend some fall afternoons wearing scarlet, grey, and white, cheering on the team. It’s a little hard to learn everything about football, but if you learn the basics, you can follow along–until then, just cheer when your spouse does. You might find that you really like it. Let’s face it, if you love the person, it’s not that much of a sacrifice.

The same principle is true with golf, canning peaches, working out at the gym, putting puzzles together, or learning ballroom dancing. Sometimes I watch his true crime shows and American Ninja Warrior; sometimes he watches the Food Network and HGTV. It’s all about sharing the things you enjoy with one another.

Individuality Is Good

You don’t have to share every interest or hobby. Individuality is a good thing, and every couple needs a little time apart. Marty is an Ohio State fan; I like Alabama. However, we both like college football and we cheer on one another’s team (well, except when they play each other). He has his group of guys; I have my group of gals. But we are not with those groups more than we are with each other. Priorities, my dears …

But listen, and this is important, KEEP YOUR ATTITUDE RIGHT. Don’t complain about your spouse’s activity and the time you spend doing it. Remember, it’s not about you; it’s about you and your partner together.

What Does God Say About It?

“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’” (Genesis 2:18).

Early on, God decided to create a suitable helper for Adam. This verse emphasizes the importance of companionship and partnership in human existence. It sets the foundation for the institution of marriage.

The term helper signifies someone who complements or supports. In this context, it indicates that the helper is meant to be a partner and equal, not subordinate.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.