We are easily distracted, especially by gossip. What is worse. we often use gossip not only as a means of distraction, but detraction, a means of hurting those who we dislike. The more we speak out of malice, the more spiritually ill we become. We should not be looking to others in order to find a reason to criticize and attack them, thinking in doing so, we prove ourselves to be better than they are. We should not be trying to justify ourselves by saying we are engaging the “spiritual acts of mercy” when we are not being loving or merciful. Rather, we should work to improve ourselves and in the process help others, lifting people up instead of pulling them down. We are, after all, called to impart grace, not to go out in the world and judge others: “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear” (Eph. 4:29 RSV).
It is better to be silent and ignore others, especially the little things they do which we dislike, than it is to constantly telling others how bad we think they are for what they do. The more we speak, especially the more we speak ill of others. the more rivalry, hatred, and the like we create. For, by doing so, we get them angry and they will more likely respond in kind, causing us to grow angrier in return. The more we speak in a detrimental manner about others, the more room we make for sin, which is why, if we want to stop sin, we must realize silence is often the best response. “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is prudent” (Prov. 10:19 RSV).
Wisdom tell us to be concerned about our own spiritual development, while the fools find themselves all over the lives of others. Yes, we can and should help others if and when they ask for it. However, we should not be busybodies, constantly focused on others and their wrongdoings, because when that is our focus, we ignore our own sins, our own spiritual lack, and so we let the spiritual rot inside us grow and fester.
Just as we should not spread gossip, we should also avoid listening it. For by listening to it, we give it our stamp of approval, and once again, we find ourselves diverted from our own spiritual transformation as we become focused on others, and due to the way we have been led to think about them, we end up treating them in ways which go against Christ and his way. This is why Abba Poemen told Abba Isaac that a true spiritual person will not be troubled by what they hear from others because they will be focused on fixing their own spiritual imperfections:
One day Abba Isaac was sitting beside Abba Poemen when they heard a cock crow. Abba Isaac said to him: ‘Is it possible to hear that here, abba?’ He replied, ‘Isaac, why do you make me talk? You and those like you hear those noises, but the vigilant man does not trouble about them.’[1]
So many of us enjoy listening to gossip, in one fashion or another. As we listen to what is happening, what others are doing, we become so focused on them we become distracted from what it is we should be doing. The more distracted we become, the more likely we will become like Abba Isaac and try to bring what we are focused upon to the attention of others. The more we focus on such distractions, the more likely we will be troubled by them, while the more we ignore them, the more they will recede into the background and then the vigilant man (or woman) will then be able to focus on what truly needs to be done. This is not to say we should ignore grave evil and injustices in the world – rather, what should be ignored is all the secondary issues and concerns which people tend to focus on, things which are rather unimportant in the scheme of things. We should not listen to cocks crowing, or gossip trying to undermine the good reputations of others; we should not embrace all the silly culture war which distracts us from our own spiritual imperfections. We should speak when it is appropriate, but if we do so, we should make sure we control our tongue and not be controlled by it. We should, that is, make sure our speech is so full of charity, which is impossible if all we do is treat others with contempt. Sadly, we like to justify our contempt, and often use our religious faith as a reason to do so (once again, exemplified by the culture wars). When we do that, James warns us, we deceive ourselves: “If any one thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this man’s religion is vain” (Jas. 1:26 RSV).
Faith without works is dead. Works without charity is meaningless. Works of faith must be works of charity, works infused with grace. We must strive for charity and grace so that the death which we have experienced due to sin can be overcome; then we will find our spiritual health is restored, and we can be said to be brought back to life. While we are living in our temporal existence, we are to choose to either follow the path of love with its charity and grace, or to deny that path and follow the path to ruin and our spiritual death. But if, on the path towards destruction, we see we have chosen foolishly, we can stop, turn around, and find ourselves, our lives being restored – thanks to the grace God gives to us, as Abba Poemen explained to another monk:
A brother asked Abba Poemen, ‘Can a man be dead?’ He replied, ‘He who is inclined to sin starts to die, but he who applies himself to good will live and will put it into practice.’[2]
Let us, therefore, embrace that which is good, follow the path of love, and in doing so, focus on our own spiritual perfection, ignoring gossip and the strife which gossip tries to create. Let us make sure we become spiritually well by not letting our own spiritual illness, our own lack of charity, have us act in a way which will not only hurt others, but further the corruption and illness within, for that corruption only leads to spiritual death if we do not put a stop to it. We are not called to be judges of others. We are not to use our religion as an excuse to savagely admonish others. We are put the faith in practice, to follow the way of love, remembering that Jesus did not come to judge or condemn the world but to save it.
[1] The Sayings of the Desert Fathers. Trans. Benedicta Ward (Kalamazoo, MI: Cistercian Publications, 1984), 182 [Abba Poemen #107].
[2] The Sayings of the Desert Fathers, 185 [Abba Poemen #124].
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