LIFE OBSERVATIONS
I don’t know about you, but I think my Lord Jesus has a great sense of humor. I think Jesus actually enjoys us. Yes, He is my Lord and King and I have wept many many many times in sheer joy of his compassion, but my God is funny too. He can be funny without saying a word. I imagine you can look at his expression and crack up. He loves to see life, I believe, through my/your eyes. I think that’s why he gave us dogs so we could see, just a small glimpse, of His love and complete joy in being in and around us. I think the below list is His humor, through my eyes. The world is a scary fearful place, but with Him in it, well, it’s not so much anymore.
Here are some observations during this week and based on years of self-professed professional experience(s)-
You can eat leftovers you bring home from a restaurant after going out to dinner and forget to refrigerate it. Thirty seconds in the microwave and allllll bad E-coli is dead.
…as you get older….
You can, as you get older and your appetite suppresses, eat the same left over all week.
Wine is good for your appetite. Jesus’s first miracle was to make more liquor for a party. Not bad.
Beer makes an excellent hydration liquid mostly made of water and natural foods to restore your attitude after an Arizona summer lawn cutting job you waited until mid-afternoon to do.
Scotch, neat of course, is always better than all the others.
Always say yes sir, no sir, yes ma’am/miss, no ma’am/miss. If they correct you with you using the ‘wrong pronoun’ apologize and tell them you took your best guess.
A good PT (physical training) workout CAN BE the lawn cutting. Its better than the gym, it costs less and you feel a sense of accomplishment you actually did something you’ve been needing to do.
If you find yourself on the ground, squatting, and now it’s time to get up, give it a growl or a deep moan. It took you decades to earn that pain, let people know you got it, earned it, and to ‘stand back ya bastards, I’m getting up!’
For men, 2-3 times at night to the restroom is a good number. If anyone asks why, tell them you’re checking the perimeter and making sure doors and windows are secure.
Cereal is a waste of shelf space.
Cheese is good.
Cheese is good. Any cheese. If you have to brush your teeth and gargle after, you found a good one.
Don’t smoke. It doesn’t make you look like Humphrey Bogart. Young people, google the name.
Jesus would not have a pet dog. No one did, I think they would wind up eating them, but if He did, it would be mongrel dog and He would name it Bucket Head. It would be the Abraham example for dogs to come, the love capacity we see today in their eyes. Cows are the same. Jury is still out on cats. Hamsters are food for the cat.
You should only have enough ‘friends’ they fit on one hand with five fingers. Keep them close as long as they earn that friend trust. The rest are acquaintances. If an acquaintance becomes closer, that means a friend is slacking and needs a demotion.
Mayonnaise is the perfect….
Mayonnaise is a perfect food. So is scotch. Between the two, you can live to be old and your joints will not ache.
Stop and sit for a while. Maybe pet a chicken. Try not to think of anything and you will feel your pulse slow, and a calm will start to wash over you. That feeling right there, is the one we have been chasing after all our lives. It is God himself who gives it to us. Jesus buys us those times for us to just be. The world will be what it is, but these moments are from Him. He wants us to rest and smile at the idea He is among us, you. Breath deep and enjoy it.
Jesus smiles and enjoys us
Then go finish that left over from last Friday night. I think Jesus would smile seeing you do so. He will also whisper in your ear to add some mayo to it.
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